How do message / wink alerts work?
To change your alert preferences go to 'Account' -> 'Alert Settings.
From here you can set your message alert preferences to one of a number of options.
'Send me an alert when someone contacts me.'
This will send you an alert when you have 1, 2, 5, 10 or 25 unread messages or winks. You will only get one alert about there being that many contacts waiting until you log in again. After you have logged in after getting an alert you will receive another alert about new contacts if the number of unread winks or messages goes above the limit you set.
'Send me daily summaries.' / 'Send me weekly summaries.'
This will send you a daily or weekly summery of any unread messages or winks you have.
With this option set the site will not email you to let you know you have waiting messages or winks.
Go to 'Edit Login Details' on the left of your screen to change the email address you have alerts sent to.